some truths,,,

i will miss a dear soul. there is weepy.ness. and it's still time away and not too soon...

there is new birth all around and - here my babe is - in arms - and the empty womb is reminded as hz asks - can we visit our midwife again soon. and we will, because her birth day approaches...

my girl takes charge with such an eye for detail. she sounds like i do when taking care of biz. and in this i learn to be kinder... she, in all her pre-adolescence, still tells me all the gory detail and hugs me in the morn, and laughs out loud and with no abandon...

my sweet sweet boy will be six. six. ooohhhh... this can't be true , yet it is. and he has a list... a jetpack? a harness? a longboard. because he is told by a mentor that some 5 yr olds can ride them... oh and just one more thing... words trail off as the night ends. he needs his mama to snuggle him to sleep still and he runs to hug me in daylight.

the wild one. well, what can i say... she is sugar plum right hand and mischief left left. she practices her mad-face and builds lands of love and peace. she is THREE. manic and magical. yes.

ooohhh... and you, baby. baby c. you are a chunker at superficial least. and you are amazingly perfect in truth. it doesn't make sense, except that everything from your conception on makes all the perfect non-sense still.... seriously - there is no baby i know that is as at peace and in the know as you.. and in your trying to laugh and to speak i can see in your eyes, there is desire to tell and to teach.

art - i have missed you - and now we are reunited. evenings spent making. days spent creating. moments spent appreciating.

the truth is- life is...


our child's job is to break our hearts. rip them out and smash them up a bit. this i'm told. and there is some experience there as well.... as a mamabear we bear through. with a grin if we are gracious. tears if we emote. sometimes in defense or spite there is some lashing back out. often a combination of all.

every once in a the rarest of blue moons we hear those sweet words that make it all worthwhile. every so often there is an extra long hug - and snuggle so relaxed - an appreciation not just shown but verbalized as well. these are the crumbs we scitter after as mamas... tiny morsels that carry us to a new height and with greater purpose to be all that they imagine we are.

i've found that by taking my kids beyond the borders of our wee town there is much social observation happening behind their raggedly cut bangs... obvious is the life they could be living... and well, somehow there is awareness enough to know they really are not missing all that much. in the quiet of the eve that follows such an outing i see the love.

so a guilty gratitude to you screamers and spoiler and shopping cart spankers. you are the yeast in the dough that my babes toast up nicely and drop a wee thank you my way.



... somehow we have become a tennis playing family
.... somehow a puppy came into the mix
.. somehow we manage to all sleep at least four hours of overlap time each eve
and somehow there is peace most hours each day...
... somehow we broke the television and there was no major knashing of teeth...
somewhere along the way we found a nice little groove to fall our feet into
... and just with a wee bit o luck and some hard found disciple we may just somehow maintain the goodness.


adventuring into new

Adventures now to begin afresh. Newness in the air and in the season and in our stirring souls. The wonder of the bright eyed baby has rekindled a viewing of what lies all around. The Haze entices laughter. Energy of the boy motivates the go and the movement and the hikes and the wheels that turn. And the observant questioning of the T keeps us on mental toe point and on track... These beautiful unschooled, unrushed mornings linger.
Searching out of opportunity. Pushing against the stagnant. And in spite remembering to relish in the peace and quiet and rest that is our most cherished gift in this moment.