mountain mama: September 2009

crisis? perhaps no...

... more of a mid-life "now what?"...
seeing the beauty in all my many mistakes and trying to cipher through the b.s.
what does it mean to hit this point at 29? can i expect to live out a good 60 years in this round? or am i perhaps just an old old soul? does that matter in the least when each day is new and the only lesson to learn is how to say when. and no. and enough. and yes... dear god... bring it on!!!

beautiful heartbreak of mama-dom

the older sibs have taught the babe how to say hamburger... "ha-bahh-gaa" - then asked if as a reward we could actually all eat a hamburger. (an act that has been all but banned)

after a lengthy discussion on c-section vs. pushin' a baby - abstinence vs. birth control - she stated that in ten years she would go ahead and get her birth control...

he is planning his fourth b-day. it'll be a BYOS (bring your own shovel) and there will be a digging contest. there will be an orange cake and a "thing you hit to get candy"...

you are born

driving home from the land... babies asleep before we reach the gate... my monkey says out of blue on a dark starry night.
'mom - the more heart you have the more wise you are... and the more spirit you have the more wise you are. and love, if you have love then it is even better.'
"girl. where'd you learn that? how do you know this to be true?"
'it's a child's thing. i guess it's something that you are born with - and sometimes, when you grow up, well maybe just people forget their spirit. they forget their own hearts and forget how to love and be wise... sometimes at night when it is quiet i remember who i am, and during the day it is busy and i get wild and i lose track of all that...'

you were born in infinite wisdom. now you walk in the cold hard truth of this world we have created. don't forget my sweet angel. don't you ever forget...