in a new view finder

this year started out with a sense of foreboding.
CHANGE threatened to drop it's vowels and enter itself officially into the four letter word category....
this was the year of 30 - when all hell was to break loose in body and soul. and it did.
i tried to embrace the change with positivity and good cheer. which worked about 55% of the time.
hair was chopped off - dyed - regrown into haphazard UHG. something i actually do regret some days. not all.
this year i moved many times and remained in this same small town. in the same house.
the house itself torn apart and thrown into complete chaos. we still can't successfully find socks in the morning.
in this one year i made resolutions based in truth. resolutions i've had to fight to hold on to.
i made friends who are honest. friends who inspire. friends who love my imperfections.
this year i learned to also love my imperfections. well - accept that they exist anyway... and in the end not hate that.
in this year all three of my babes grew up too much. and taught me to grow down abit.

in this one year. a seedling sprouted in the midst of a burnt down field.

now i look to now. again. with hope and in gratitude. for all these past days. all the goods mingled with the crud. and even for just the grit and grime all by itself. i look forward with the knowledge that there is something a bit more refined within. something harder and more determined. some bits softer and willing to relax. the somethings that came so easily. and those that growled their way in. the extremes - the changes - the passions shared - and laughter healing - the insomnia - the hugs - the babies smiles - the paints - and pillows - the animals lost and born - the miles - the food - and most of - the ones who stood by with nothing but encouragement and hugs that lift my feet of the ground...

in this one year. i learned how to change. and learned to not just deal with it. but to love it.


within the realm of slumber

some nights are torrid {choose your definition at will}
some are speckled and splattered with color
last was sweet and honest and yet with confusing lead lady choice...

i mull over through the day the happenings previous night
what is the formula i am asked over again
and when will i be able to enter and re-enter the chosens at will....

these night escapades - escapes - encrusted - enchanted...



reading. again. a few pages at a time. days and days on end. consistency. hello friends. hello words strung together. in your oh so convicting manner. neurons firing once more. optical into ethereal. into then... for now. still. silent. bound. and speaking.


words in lucid

dreams of writing disturb my slumber.
reasons of duty and guilty.
reasons of creativity gone squandered.
motherly calling from a thousand miles away.
childish calling from feet near by.
words going unsaid again no more.
as long as i heed - perhaps i will sleep - in peace.



because it is sadly necessary....