oh but another day

greetings o blessed spinning whirlwind day. where are you going and what will you teach? each and new you bring to me an opening of joy and growth... but alas you whip by with no tolerance of my trying so hard to catch up.... in a blink you are gone and what have i done but be... honest and striving - having and losing - trying and failing - trying and winning. i am new in you. blessed gift from above and below. you are wisdom and heartbreak - you are fast and oh so slow. slow to impart your beauty slow to impart your lesson slow to impart what needs to be said and in all so blatant and bliss. you say to me in your waking hours - what will you do with me? i am dawning - i am here - rise and create and empower... you say it is time to be aware - you say act quickly - in flash i'll be gone. only to wake you again....

circus tricks

if we had us a circus wagon and we'd take this show on the road!

success ...

...is... the babe child waking only once to snuggle and know she is comforted... the boy child being so proud he is brushing his own teeth... the almost grown monkey building her homeschool curriculum herself and loving every minute... the mama knowing despite every good intention - she just - simply - is...

happy childhood memory revisited

toasted. buttered. pita chips on the table.
can't recall a single meal that they would accompany. the entree is irrelevant.
what matters is the salt. the smell. the pile. the searching for the buttery pieces. the few left of less butter that we ate only because we wanted more. the warmth of comfort. knowing an incredible mom loved us enough to make us from scratch. what seemed like such a treat then i see now was no great task.
simple steps. simplified goodness. simply love.

crisis? perhaps no...

... more of a mid-life "now what?"...
seeing the beauty in all my many mistakes and trying to cipher through the b.s.
what does it mean to hit this point at 29? can i expect to live out a good 60 years in this round? or am i perhaps just an old old soul? does that matter in the least when each day is new and the only lesson to learn is how to say when. and no. and enough. and yes... dear god... bring it on!!!

beautiful heartbreak of mama-dom

the older sibs have taught the babe how to say hamburger... "ha-bahh-gaa" - then asked if as a reward we could actually all eat a hamburger. (an act that has been all but banned)

after a lengthy discussion on c-section vs. pushin' a baby - abstinence vs. birth control - she stated that in ten years she would go ahead and get her birth control...

he is planning his fourth b-day. it'll be a BYOS (bring your own shovel) and there will be a digging contest. there will be an orange cake and a "thing you hit to get candy"...

you are born

driving home from the land... babies asleep before we reach the gate... my monkey says out of blue on a dark starry night.
'mom - the more heart you have the more wise you are... and the more spirit you have the more wise you are. and love, if you have love then it is even better.'
"girl. where'd you learn that? how do you know this to be true?"
'it's a child's thing. i guess it's something that you are born with - and sometimes, when you grow up, well maybe just people forget their spirit. they forget their own hearts and forget how to love and be wise... sometimes at night when it is quiet i remember who i am, and during the day it is busy and i get wild and i lose track of all that...'



you were born in infinite wisdom. now you walk in the cold hard truth of this world we have created. don't forget my sweet angel. don't you ever forget...