Saturday

backfire of best laid plans


my whole life i have winged. things happen and i roll. situations present and i smile and deal. opportunities knock and i answer. this last month i was given the chance to own my own business and restaurant. i jumped. on paper it's a dream. location being golden. timing not to shabby. and smooth as silk the negotiations followed. so here i sit the night before our second soft run. anxiety of the ins and outs overwhelming. food orders screwy. electric issues non-resolved. timing and moneys and logistics and the unspeakable issue at hand. WILL I SUCCEED? will they like ME? by blood sweat and sacrifice i will give. and will it be noticed in the end?
i have been managing, organized, and planning. knowing now it is only a leap of sheer faith and exhaustion. i realize, tonight as i sit, that its not the paper trail in all it's color-coded-ness that will prevail. it is in the doing and the believing and the smiles and tears that avail - this will be my end result. this will be what wakes me up. this will be what it is in this moment. a lesson. a growth. a chance and a challenge. this will be the backlash of all my best laid brainstorm.....